Easter Egg Hunt Goes Horribly Wrong

The residents of the small Ontario, Canada community of Happyland watched in shock and horror as their picturesque town was wiped off the map when an Easter Egg Hunt, organized by local business person and philanthropist Sam Swann went horribly wrong.

For weeks, Happyland residents were abuzz as news of the Good Friday Easter Egg Drop and Hunt spread through the local grapevine. Good Friday began as it had for generations in Happyland, with an Interfaith church service at the local rink. Following the service, residents of Happyland and neighboring communities brought their children to the Community Softball Fields and waited for the festivities to get underway. Hundreds of people cheered as a giant Sikorsky S-64 Skycrane helicopter, rented by Mr. Swann, thrilled onlookers with several low flyby’s.

Sikorsky S-64 Skycrane in action

At exactly 12 Noon, the flying behemoth hovered 1500 feet above center field and opened the doors of the huge cargo pod slung beneath. The raucous cheers, filling the crisp Spring air quickly turned to screams of terror as 35,000 pounds of small chocolate eggs became caught up in the downdraft of the massive heavy lift helicopter. Witnesses say that the little eggs became like tiny missiles quickly destroying anything they hit..

Fortunately, no one on the ground suffered injury as the ground crews waved the chopper away from onlookers, still carrying an estimated 30,000 pounds of chocolate eggs. Residents stood by helpless as the pilot guided the Skycrane over the main business and residential areas of Happyland. Tiny chocolate eggs still raining down, flattening homes and businesses everywhere.

Locals were clearly in a state of shock once the dust, and chocolate settled. Lifelong resident Fern P. stated: “It was like the bowels of hell itself opened up and rained down chocolate showers of destruction upon our heads.”

Husband Vern agreed: “We’re a God-fearing people! People everywhere were crying out for the Good Lord to save them. Today, Happyland as visited by the devil himself.” One other witness stated that, “It just didn’t end. Just when you thought there couldn’t possibly be anymore, the tiny eggs just kept raining down, destroying everything in their path. It was horrible.”

Sam Swann, organizer of the event has offered to rebuild many of the homes and businesses of the tiny town, many residents are saying that they will never be able to get over the memory of their livelihoods being ruined by the tiny chocolate missiles. They are packing up what they can salvage, and moving on. However, true to the spirit of the message of Easter, residents were quick to forgive Mr. Swann. As one resident was heard to say, “Bless Sam’s heart. He just wanted to give something back to the community. Despite all we’ve lost, we’ve still got our health – and that’s all that counts. Besides, if the Good Lord Himself can forgive me for all the wrong I’ve done, I can forgive Sam Swann for this little mishap.”

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